The Fattest Girl in Pilates Class

A good pilates instructor should know how to work with a wide range of bodies, big and small, short and tall, injured and pain-free.

When I first tried pilates, I didn’t expect to feel like I was going to suffocate.

I was lying on my back on an athletic mat, surrounded by other students on their own mats, listening to the teacher’s cues.

“Put your legs in tabletop,” she said. I made a “tabletop” with my legs, imagining that I was balancing a banquet on my shins.

“Interlace your hands behind your head, and use your abdominal muscles to lift yourself into a curl.”

I have a big belly. I was, by far, the fattest person in the class. And, in this crunched-up position, my ribs and lungs crumpled like a beer can, squeezing all the air out of my lungs. “Inhale, exhale,” the teacher said. I couldn’t, but it didn’t seem like the right time to interrupt. I soldiered on, hoping the effect would be temporary.

“Pull one knee in while you extend the other leg out,” the teacher continued. “Touch the pulled-in knee with your opposite elbow, and then switch.”

I made it through three or four rotations before running out of air. I flopped back against the mat, arms…